Be Here Now!

Cover of "Be Here Now" by Ram Dass

Someone asked me earlier today "what makes you happy?" I thought about it for a second and many things came to mind - spending time with friends, writing or creating anything, reading, being by the ocean, traveling, playing with my dogs, eating delicious food, working (most of the time).  When I thought about it some more I realized that what all of these things have in common is that they all are things enjoyed in the present moment.  Really, truly living in the now is what creates happiness.
     Most moments in life are actually alright.  Think about a day in life and you realize that very few moments are filled with actual pain.  Sure, there is emotional pain, and, often, it is hard to get out of.  Then, at times, there is physical pain as well.  But, when you add up all the moments in a 24 hr. period the ones filled with pain are really minuscule compared to the ones where everything is okay.  In fact, most emotional pain does not come from the actual moment.  Most emotional pain comes from regretting or re-living the past or worrying about the future.  One of the 1st things they try and teach you when you get sober through a 12 step group is to fully be present in the moment.  Sounds simple enough but it truly is one of the hardest things to do.
     Engaging with another person and being present for them is an amazing quality to have.  That's why people always remark when someone is a good listener.  It means that they truly hear the words you are saying and react to those words and not pre-plan a response in their head while you are talking.  It's impossible to be consumed with self or ego when you are truly listening to another soul speak.  That's also why if you are feeling down or depressed the best solution is to help someone else with their problems - there is always someone worse off than you (unless, you are presently being murdered then you are pretty much the worst off).
     Being by the ocean is one of those things that makes me instantly feel connected to nature and the moment I'm in.  The power and sound of the waves makes me feel so small but not in a depressing way.  Small as in a small piece of something far greater than myself like the grains of sand that I sit on when at the beach.   Small, but connected.  Each piece is just as important as the others and they all function together in a magical way.  Unfortunately, I'm not by the ocean often even though I live in Los Angeles.  Actually, I spent far more time by the ocean when I lived in NYC, go figure.
     Being in the now is especially hard in today's society.  We are constantly bombarded by distractions and noise.  Everything is designed to take you out of the moment and leave you longing for things that you don't have.  I'm guilty of being glued to my iPhone for hours a day and that is the exact opposite of being in the moment - it's a distraction from the moment and it takes you out of real life.  Really listening to another person and hearing their words is living in the moment.  Noticing the color of the sky or the shape of the clouds is living in the moment.  Actually observing the color and shapes and sounds of things around you is living in the moment.  Try doing these things as often as possible it's harder than you think.
     There's an old slogan that says, "If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future than you are pissing all over today."  I always thought that was super funny but it's also very poignant and true.  I realized that in the past 6 weeks I have been living in the now about 8% of my days, if that.  Going through a breakup really sent me into the space of re-living all the moments that are now long gone and also worrying about what is to be.  Realizing that that is the space I have been occupying was the 1st step in getting myself out of it.  Doing those things does me no good and also takes me out of the present so I cannot even see how much I have to be grateful for.  I live in Hollywood in huge 2 bedroom apartment with  2 dogs that are made of love and I have a kick-ass job.  Those are all gifts that I can appreciate in each and every waking moment.

A page from "Be Here Now'