Thursday, November 27, 2014

Gratitude

Throwback Thursday - me in 1976

The law of attraction is whatever you put out into the world comes back to you.  It's similar to Karma and other such spiritual beliefs.  It also means that what you focus on grows (insert sexual joke here) so your mood has a lot to do with your circumstances.  At the beginning of the summer when I was having a rough time due, mostly, to my broken engagement I kept saying out loud that I felt like I was drowning.  I had this distinct image of myself in my brain of my body suspended in liquid, limbs akimbo like those haunting scenes in "Under The Skin."  I couldn't figure out why I couldn't shake the feeling.  Now, looking back I realize that I was manifesting and perpetuating it.  Thinking about myself not doing well was part of the cause of my not doing well.  Nearly impossible to realize this as it's happening though.
     Last month I was talking to one of my best friends, Theo, on the phone and I was saying how this year had been so terrible.  She astutely and positively said that there was still time to turn it around.  My reaction was not one of the glass-half-full mentality and I quickly shot down that notion.  Something happened later that week though and I decided to take some action to make things happen in my life.  I wasn't necessarily trying to change my mood but I thought I had better change my circumstances before I create a real shit storm in my life.
     At the time I didn't know what was going to happen with my job at High Voltage Tattoo so with the encouragement of another great friend of mine I sat down to write a resume and apply for this job at an art gallery.  I don't know about you but the idea of writing a resume and cover letter and applying for a job makes me want to crawl into the corner in a fetal position and rock myself to sleep in tears.  I'm just not cut out for that kind of thing and I also sell myself short thinking I have no skills to mention (insert another sexual joke here), at least on paper.  I finally just bit the bullet and did it and, guess what?  It was not only pretty easy to do but I realized that I have a ton of experience doing all kinds of things and I'm highly employable and maybe even desirable to possible employers.  I completed a task I set out for myself and I sent out the email with both a kick-ass cover letter and my new resume.  It felt awesome to do.
     I was fully aware in that moment that it didn't even matter if I got the job I was applying for because I know that when I get into the mode of sending forth productive energy into the universe that somehow it will come back to me - usually in a way I was not expecting.  That's pretty much how I ended up working at High Voltage in the 1st place.  A few days after I did that we found out that we were approved to open High Voltage again temporally next door in our Wonderland Galley space so I didn't even need to continue looking for work.  I also got a call out of the blue from SAG about some money possibly owed to me for a commercial job I did 2 years ago saying that they had finally settled the case and I should be receiving a pretty decent check before the holidays ( go union!!)
     It's hard to feel grateful when the shit hits the fan but, of course, it's the only way to get back on your feet in a timely manner.  You have to actually feel your emotions before you can move on from them and sadness and anger are necessary to acknowledge and accept.  The famous saying goes that "pain is inevitable but suffering is optional."  All you have to do to feel OK about your life is to actually look around the streets or turn on any news station.  I know that I am truly blessed even though I don't own a mansion and a yacht.  Happy Thanksgiving.








Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Rock-N-Roll With Me

Rob Zombie tour bus, Chicago 2014

A few months ago I woke up to an amazing text from my friend.  He was asking if I'd be willing to fly to Chicago to attend his wife's (also my friend) surprise birthday party.  I mean, you don't have to twist my arm to except an offer like that so I texted back an emphatic YES!! It was also perfect timing because the birthday soiree was taking place the week after I was returning from the Kate Bush show in London.  Just when I was thinking that there couldn't possibly be any other exciting adventures after that doozy - BAM! - another awesome plan in the works to alleviate the come down from Kate Bush.
     There are moments in life when the timing of things all line up and work out perfectly.  It makes up for all those other moments when you just can't seem to make anything work out at all.  Well, this trip to Chicago made up for all those other moments in the biggest and bestest way.  Turns out that a David Bowie exhibit was opening at the MCA that very week that I was flying out there.  The exhibit "David Bowie Is" had traveled all over the world and was only making 1 stop (ONE STOP!!!) in the USA and it just so happens that stop is Chicago.  Fortune was shining it's golden light upon me and melting away all the other dark shit from this tumultuous year!  What could be more amazing than an entire exhibit of everything Bowie, short of a time machine to take me back to 1974 to attend the "Diamond Dogs" tour??
     It was absolute perfection.  My friend Allison and I flew to Chicago on Thursday morning.  We checked into our hotel, took a short nap and then got all gussied up for the birthday bash.  At dinner we all decided that we HAD to go to the Bowie exhibit the next day so we all got up and met in the morning and walked over to the museum and proceeded to be inundated with the magic that is Bowie.  Not only did all that work out so well it also so happened that the Chicago airport was closed on Friday for a full 24 hours due to a fire at the air traffic controller's tower and thousands of flights were cancelled and a jillion people were stranded.  Had our plans been 1 day off we never would have made it on this trip.  For once the gods were laughing WITH us and not AT us.

Outide "David Bowie Is" at the MCA, Chicgao

   After the exhibit we went to lunch then all piled on the tour bus to go to the opening night of Rob Zombie's Great American Nightmare.  We got to have a preview of all the mazes with the lights on and before all the ghouls and goblins had taken their places in the catacombs to scare the living beejeebus outta us.  It was really awesome to actually get to look at the mazes and all the intricate detail that went into designing them and making them so creepy, gross and cool.  Of course, the evening ended with a kick-ass Rob Zombie concert to boot!!  We packed so much into this awesome weekend it was an absolute rock-n-roll extravaganza.
     The next day we went to the airport and even after that crazy, 24 hour debacle our flight was on time and we actually got back to LA without a hitch.  Being surrounded by great friends, great art and rock-and-roll is a sure fire cure for any blues one may be carrying around inside.   I dare you to go to an entire exhibit of David Bowie and not walk away inspired and energized.
    Gentle hearts are counted down
The queue is out of sight and out of sounds
Me, I'm out of breath, but not quite doubting 
I've found a door which lets me out!









     

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Halloween

A sample of my famous holiday cards

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday.  For as long as I can remember I have always loved dressing up.  Way before I had access to, or they sold cool clothes in suburban malls I always put looks together that were not necessarily popular but undeniably me.  The older I got the more I realized that I could dress up any time and on any day I chose - not just one holiday a year.
     In my mind the holiday season has always begun in October.  1st, there's my birthday on Oct.26th.  Then, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanza, and, finally, New Year's Eve.  As a child it was always exciting because it meant lots of time off from dreadful school, dressing up, and, of course, gifts!!  To this day I get excited when autumn approaches even though it's really hard to tell when that is with LA weather.  My mom always made or helped me make my costumes and I have continued the tradition by always creating my own looks.  As a really young child I was a clown, a tiger, a native American Indian, Darth Vader (with a tin foil chest panel), Fozzy Bear and a banana - not necessarily in that order.  Recently, I have been a Chic Sheik, a Cockette, dead Marc Bolan, Frida Kahlo, a harpy, Death by Disco (with a broken disco ball on my head) and a witch.
     One of my gorgeous friends named Alicia has a birthday that is actually on Halloween day.  As a child I was always so jealous of people born on that day but now I realize that Halloween adjacent is pretty good as well.  Alicia, known to most as Trani because that is her actual last name, would always have a big, themed birthday party on Halloween.  One year the theme was The Shining.  Now, there aren't really a tremendous amount of characters in that film and the most glamorous costume option would have been the twins but, obviously, that takes 2 to tango.  I walked around my neighborhood in the East Village of NYC to find some inspiration.  Lo and behold I found the most amazing vintage Shriner outfit complete with fez and whistle and an awesome jacket with braided epaulets.  I decided that would be perfect - surely a shriner had stayed in The Overlook Hotel in all it's illustrious past - I decided that there had to have been a Shriner convention there at one point.
     Part of my attraction to Halloween is the dark side of it - the celebration of all things spooky and spine tingling which I have always thought was super glamorous.  There's nothing more romantic that the whole Dracula story - sure beats the pants off Romeo & Juliet.  I mean, let's see - eternal life or double suicide? Hmmm...So, I decided my Shriner had to be dead to add to the creep factor so I went out and got a bunch of theatrical make up and some silicone to make myself a bullet hole in the center of my forehead.  The make up came out so great that it was hard for people to talk to me for too long because it was so realistic.  I even had 2 perfect streams of blood trickling down either side of my big nose that slowly crept down my face until they were dangling off my chin 2 inches.  That theatrical blood is really thick and lasts all night.
     At one point Alicia made a joke that I should take a photo of myself and make it my Xmas card since it would be so highly inappropriate.  At that moment a really large light bulb went off in my brain and I though I absolutely, 100% am doing that for sure!  In that very moment my own delightfully twisted tradition was born and I have been doing it ever since - at least 12 years now and since my sense of time is so shit it's probably been way more.  I alter between holidays for the theme of the card depending on how Jew-y I look - Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah even Kwanza once and when I was Frida Kahlo I finally did a Feliz Navidad card.  This year I dressed up twice so we shall see what the theme is for 2014 - whatever it is it will be a glittery one.  Pretty sure I will still have some glitter on my face well into 2015.  It's like I'm dating a stripper except the stripper is me.

Chic Sheik, Halloween, 2014