Dating!?!

Before I met my ex I made a valiant attempt at dating.  The experiences I had bordered on the ridiculous and absurd. Each date was more comical than the last until it got to the point where someone even called to "break up" with me before we had ever hung out! It was like an absurdist Theater Of The Ridiculous cosmic joke.
     I met one guy while out dancing and we had a total Jennifer Grey & Patrick Swayze moment on the dance floor. We exchanged numbers and I followed through with a call the next day (so not LA to actually call). We spent so long on the phone that my iPhone battery was in the red and then, out of the blue, he said he had to go because he had to pick up his boyfriend at the airport. Really? REALLY!  All I could do was laugh at that point.  I totally threw in the towel realizing I just wasn't cut out for the whole dating world. No thank you.
     Of course, this is precisely when I met my ex and entered into the longest and best relationship I have ever had.  It wasn't only because I had stopped looking it was because I was whole and complete on my own and really loving my life - that's what made me attractive to another man.  That's also why just recently I met someone at an exercise class when the last thing I was expecting was a connection. It took me by surprise and it was fun and spontaneous and there was an instant attraction between us. We spent one great night together and we should have simply left it at that.  Some moments and connections are fleeting especially ones that begin with lust.  That animal attraction usually does not have staying power and it has nothing to do with the personalities and brains of the parties involved - it's some sort of pheromone hypnosis that carries you away on a wave of excitement.  Of course, we did not leave it at that.
     I let myself fantasize and drift away on the words of a sweet talker that was saying all the right things and making me feel so wanted.  Normally, the things he was saying would have had me running to the hills especially since we had only had one "date."  It was all too good to be true and too much too soon.  The fact of the matter is I wanted to believe in the possibility of love happening so unexpectedly and I am clearly vulnerable after going through all the crap that I have gone through this year.  I was thinking that it could be a fun romance filled with adventure since he doesn't even live in LA - another sign for me.
     You can all see clearly where this going by now, I'm sure.  We made plans to spend a glorious weekend together and I took several days off work and made reservations at a chic and romantic restaurant.  I thought "why the fuck don't I take a risk?  I'm a grown ass man, crazier things have happened.  What's the worst that can transpire in a few days?"  We were texting like crazy and having long and lovely conversations on the phone at night.  Seemed like there was a genuine connection happening.  And then I could just sense that things had changed.  Radio silence - the worst kind of dead air.  And then came the texts..."I'm not ready for a relationship, my mind isn't in the right place, I don't want to pull you into my mess..."  THERE IT IS!  I got dumped before we were even dating.  How does that even happen?!  I thought we were planning a fun, off-the-cuff weekend I didn't think we were picking out china patterns.
     Again, all I can do is laugh - well, after a series of woe-is-me texts to my besties, I chuckled - I'm not a saint for chrissakes!  All I know for sure is that I refuse to give up on love and I hope that the next time I meet someone spontaneously it lasts for more than one night.  At least two, please.
    For now I'll just listen to some Led Zeppelin and get lost in a rock-n-roll fantasy of scouring the far corners of the globe for my perfect match...

Going to ramble on, sing my song. Gotta keep-a-searching for my baby...

Going to work my way, round the world. I can't stop this feeling in my heart

Got to keep searching for my baby. I can't find my bluebird!