Flying

"Starry Night" by Van Gogh

When I was a really little boy I could fly.  Several nights a week right as I was drifting off into dreamland I would feel my bed vibrate and pulse and my bedroom ceiling would open up wide and my bed would take off into the night sky, sheets flapping in the wind.  I would ride the bed like I was on the helm of ship riding the ocean waves.  I would look down and around and see my house and my whole town from above and it was magical and magnificent.  Then I would wake up in the morning usually forgetting it had even happened.
     I never told anyone or talked about it, it didn't seem unusual or abnormal to me and it really never occurred to me to discuss it.  Little kids are tapped into a deeper realm than adults and there is a definite sense of wonder and magic in their lives.  That is, until real problems happen and the magic gets tucked away deeper and deeper until it's just a small kernel, practically unreachable, buried within.
     The flying stopped when my parents got divorced.  That is not to say that my life was 100% idyllic before that but the reality of my Dad physically walking away marked a huge change in my life and me.  I did not handle it well.  I was physically sick for a week, throwing up and nauseous and a part of me never really recovered from that time.  Later on in middle school I even developed this phantom stomach illness that would leave me doubled over in crippling pain and yet the doctors could never figure out what was wrong.  It is so clear to me know that it was stress and that the stomach region is where I tend to carry and store all of my lovely stress.
     I have experienced a sensation similar to the flying one later in life but only a few times.  The 1st time was at a yoga class in college that I begrudgingly took to fulfill my gym quota.  We were lying flat on our back at the end of class for the meditation portion.  The teacher was gently coaxing us - relax your toes, relax the arches of your feet, relax your ankles - slowly going through the entire body. When she got to the tops of our heads I felt this crazy vibration as if the entire room was spinning really fast around me as I floated completely still in the middle.   It was an unusual sensation that was almost scary for a second until I just went with it.  My eyes were closed but all of a sudden I saw myself from above and then from below and it was as if there were 2 of me and I didn't know which was the real me.  After it was over and the teacher beckoned for us to return to our bodies and wiggle our fingers and toes I had the sensation that I was in a full body cast and when I wiggled it crumbled around me and left me feeling renewed.
     So, it is possible to get back to the magic in life!  For me when life becomes too dull and routine I crave something deeper, something mystical and magical to show me that life can still be wondrous and enchanting.  Another time meditating at home I was able to tap into that vibration again, just me on my floor with the world pulsing and vibrating all around my stillness.  I'm not really sure what that sensation is or how exactly to make it happen but I am comforted knowing that there is so much more out there to discover and that, perhaps, real magic exists.