Hollywood

Liz Taylor, 1967 w/her Ocasr for 'Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf.'"

I had barely lived in Hollywood for a month when I found out I would be attending Elton John's famous Oscar party.  My amazing friend Sammy Jo, who we lovingly refer to as Pickles (all my NYC friends have multiple nicknames,) was DJing and our other friend's band The Scissor Sisters were performing.  I was super excited to say the least.
     At this point, in the beginning of 2005, I only had 1 job on 1 night of the week bar tending at my friend Mario's party called Hot Dog.  It was at a now long gone club called The Parlour Club that had a very New York-y feel to it. The party was a hoot but bar tending in LA was not quite the same as NYC.  If I made $500 a shift in NY that would've been a slow night, out here I was lucky to take home $150.
     On Oscar Sunday I had taken all the money I had and went to the grocery store, my mind reeling with my fabulous, ensuing evening plans.  All I could think about was my outfit for the soiree my wardrobe spinning around in my head like those racks at the dry cleaners as I was imagining possible clothing combos.  I put my groceries in the trunk, returned the cart to the rack and started to drive off.  I got to the edge of the parking lot when I realized I had left my wallet in the shopping cart.  I doubled back, parked and ran out of my car but the 3 minutes I had been gone was long enough for some nice citizen to abscond with my wallet and ALL the money I had to my name.  The panic set in - mainly because I figured I needed my ID to get into the party.
     I spent a few hours in the woe-is-me department and then the absurdity of the situation set in and I had to laugh.  That's so me - losing all my possessions in the morning, partying with movie stars in the evening.  I got all gussied up and made my way to The Pacific Design Center where there were huge, white circus tents set up to hold the bash.  Turns out all my panic was for nought (as it always is) because I didn't need any ID at all to get it, in fact, it was surprising easy to sashay right inside.  I guess I looked the part with my bow-tie on.
     I found my friends but they were all running around getting set up for the show and DJing so I was basically flying solo.  I walked around a bit in awe of the magnitude of the glamour.  This place was chock full of sequin ball gowns and movie stars - everyone was dressed to the nines.  Then the best thing happened.  I looked over at the bar and saw Chi Chi (pronounced She She) LaRue, famous drag queen and also gay porn film director.  We knew each other so I went up and said hello.  She immediately grabbed me by the hand and said "c'mon, let's go meet some celebs!"
     Well, if a 6'5 drag queen isn't the best ice-breaker I don't know what is.  We marched right up to Brooke Shields, Chi Chi grabbed her hand and bellowed "look at that rock!!" in reference to her huge ring.  Brooke cracked up and we chatted and then made our way through the whole crowd in the same manner.  85% of the people we approached were game the other 15% ran in terror - it was perfect.
     By now it was time for the band to go on so we moseyed over to the stage to watch the show.  We were dancing and having fun and the crowd was super into the music.  About 4 songs in I felt a commotion behind me.  I turned around and saw some huge, I mean linebacker huge, security guards barreling through the crowd and shoving people to the side like sparkly corn chips flying through the air.  The crowd parted like the Red Sea and then Elizabeth Taylor emerged being rolled through the room in a wheel chair.  I was stunned and in awe - this was the most legendary site of all time!  She was draped and bedecked with so much bling she made every rapper on earth look like a fool.  The rainbow prisms of light shooting off all of her diamonds were blinding.  I'm sure she was only in the wheel chair because she couldn't walk with that many karats of stones dangling off her frail frame.  It was like seeing a unicorn except there was a huge crowd around me to witness the event as well.
     At this point the entire audience now had their backs to the band and even though it felt like an eternity the whole scene probably only lasted a minute or 2.  They wheeled Miss Taylor to the very front banquette where, naturally, Elton and his then boyfriend, now husband were seated and she got out of the chair and sat at the table to watch the show.  It was an awesome thing to behold.  That is the 1st and last time I ever saw her off screen.
     All in all the night was beyond fabulous.  At the very end of the party I was hanging out with Sammy Jo and the band and we were sharing stories about all the crazy/amazing people we had met.  We were also looking through our gift bags which we all assumed would be major.  Well, the 1st thing I removed from the bag was a box of Barilla spaghetti.  Mind you, this was long before anyone in Hollywood had ever heard of gluten but, still, a very, very odd choice for a gift bag.  Since the annual party is an AIDS benefit I assume that Barilla was a sponsor which explained why there was so much broken and uncooked pasta strewn amongst the confetti and glitter on the floor.  I opted to keep my box in tact - after all, I had no money left for future groceries.